Love at first sight—sounds great and attractive—isn’t it? Well, it works for some. For them, it is heaven on earth. But it doesnot work for many—particularly in today’s world which has seen so much of migration and displacement.
Today, we live in a multi-racial, multi-ethnic, multi-religious, multi-linguistic, and multi-so-many-things world. Our family values are different; our cultural heritage is different; our religious beliefs are different. In fact, the list is almost endless.
So, when we hop into a ‘love-at-first-sight’ relationship, we hardly get any time to check out on the compatibility factor. If the bonding is strong enough like superglue, the relationship may survive, blossom and bloom. Otherwise, differences may surface in due course of time and become a pain in the neck.
In a world, where everyone comes with a different mindset and belief system, it makes sense to sort out major issues at the very outset. Otherwise, it might lead to confrontation sooner or later.
It is always better to sort out major issues before marriage because break-up after marriage could dent your life forever.
You must figure out these things for yourself and your partner particularly if it is going to be an inter-caste or inter-religious marriage because you may have to fend for yourselves against the family and community traditions. Therefore, one of the first things you have to figure out is how each of you will deal with your families if there is opposition from the family with regard to the marriage.
If it is going to be an inter-religious or inter-caste marriage, you have to decide whether both the parties will continue to practice their own religions, or, if you want a single religion to prevail in the family, which one will convert in whose favour. In fact, you should have a detailed discussion about your belief and value systems so that you do not find yourself at loggerheads with your partner when the sheen of the new-founded joy fades little by little. If you hold strong political views, this is a good time to discuss it with your partner.
If there are health or mental issues or addictions that you are given to or the other party is given to, it is always better to discuss them in the beginning rather than postponing them for the future. Because, these issues tend to crop up when the relationship goes through its waning phase. These are problems that may call for complete understanding from each of the partners to tide over emergencies, hospitalization, medication and other situations including normal days.
You must sort out financial issues like financial contribution and expense sharing, debt and loans, other financial needs and commitments, etc. and avoid shock treatment by disclosing major issues at a later stage which might shake the very foundation of the marriage.
Also, you will need to decide whether you want to produce children or not because some couples prefer not to produce children. If you wish to have children, then you must decide when and how many.
I am not talking about careers because I assume that, for most couples heading for marriage, that is the bare minimum they would discuss before they tie the knot.
