Stop Looking at Situations as Problems

Stop looking at situations as problems because the moment you do that, the situation becomes formidable and more difficult to deal with. But if you were to look at problems as situations, it would be easier for you to deal with them.

We find so many of our friends, relatives and colleagues crying themselves hoarse that they are weighed down by their problems. They tend to believe that all the problems in the world have descended on their heads and that they are left facing more problems than anybody else they know of.

The way to deal with these problems is to take a closer look at them. First things first, you have to decide whether what you are terming as problems is indeed a problem. Are they problems in the real sense of the word? Are we imagining things or exaggerating some situation?

As I have been an honorary Life Coach to many, I have been approached by many people who claimed to be overburdened by their problems. I always spend a reasonable amount of time with them and try to get to the root of their problems. It took me a while to understand their psychology. After the initial interactions, I found that most of the problems they were bogged down with were no big deal. In fact, I would seldom look at them as problems if I were faced with the same situations.

Now, here we need to understand something clearly. All problems could be situations but all situations cannot be problems. We need to differentiate between the two. Situations can be handled in the normal course of our lives. But problems are a little difficult to solve and often need focused attention and extra effort to solve. In fact, what most of us consider to be problems are results of indecision or failure to take action on situations within their respective deadlines.

Now, problem is a heavy word. So, when you look at something as a problem, you tend to give it more weightage than it deserves. Most of our problems are perceived as real. Since we give so much of weightage to them, they weigh us down and we cringe under their weight. This could lead to stress and depression.

If only we learn to look at things in their right perspective, lots of load would be off our heads and our backs. Because, when we look at a situation as a big problem, it becomes a challenge to us. But, if we learn to look at these situations as situations, which is what they are most of the time, it would be easier for us to deal with them. Because, psychologically, it is easier to handle a situation than to solve a problem. And, most of the time, we have the key or solution to what we call problems with us. We are either not sufficiently motivated, or negligent, or downright lazy to deal with it at the point when it needs to be tackled.

Here is an example of a lady who unpacked her bundle of problems and sought my advice. She started the conversation by saying: ‘My life is full of problems. My life is a total mess…’

I suggested that we sit down and make a list of her problems. And, then try to solve them one by one.

Here is the list of problems she gave me:

1. Her maid does not come on time. So, her schedule goes haywire.
2. Her wall clock has stopped working.
3. Water is in short supply whenever it is needed because the buckets are empty when the supply is off.
4. Her cable TV connection is off and she can’t watch TV.
5. Her car does not start.

Now, let us take them up one by one:

1. All that the lady needs to do is to speak to her maid to impress upon her that she is paid to do her job and she needs to take her job seriously. If the problem persists, she should think of sacking her maid and find another one. But, most of the time, we are reluctant to take it up with the maid because we are apprehensive that she might quit the job and make things worse.
2. All that she needs to do is to change the battery or cell. The best thing is to keep a standby supply of such items so that they can be changed as and when the need arises.
3. All she needs to do is to ensure that the buckets are full of water all the time.
4. She needs to keep track of when the subscription expires and renew it on time.
5. She needs to watch the fuel gauge in her car and get fuel as and when the fuel levels dip beyond a certain point.

From the above, it is abundantly clear that what was being seen as problems were actually situations which needed her attention and timely action. Since she was negligent, the very same situations blew up into problems. If she had taken care of these situations at the appropriate time, there would have been no problems.